Hopelessly Depressed
by Dr. William Bell
Summary: T.K. has given up all hope. After Kari left, nothing mattered anymore. But now can he be convinced differently? Can he find his heart again? One-shot! Takari.


**Well, it has been a while. I am writing this story for my one year mark on ! HOORAY!**

**Special Call Outs to Lachelle92, Lord Patamon, sammyjon123, Sianikins, and everyone else who has helped me in this writing process. I hope you will all help continue my journey into writing. For those of you who are still interested in Light and Shadows, I will update very soon. But please, enjoy this story.**

**I do not own Digimon. I do not own the characters either.

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T.K. sighed at his computer. He was trying to write, but nothing was coming to him. Not that it mattered. Nothing ever came to him anymore. He seemed to be in a permanent writer's block. He made the motions of rubbing his eyes, as if he were tired, but really he was just bored. But then again, he couldn't think of the last time something held his interest. Well actually. . . that's not true. There was one thing. But it didn't matter anymore. Nothing mattered anymore. Not school, his friends, or his life in general. They all tried talking to him, but he felt himself drifting away from them. Nobody cared about him, so why should he care?

A tear dropped from his eye onto his palm. He held his palm up, examining it. A tear. . . Honestly, he thought he had forgotten what crying felt like. But his eyes were indeed wet with tears. So now what? Was he crying? Why? What is the point? If Kari were here, she'd tell him not to cry. _If she were here. . ._ T.K. laughed bitterly and wiped his eyes on his sleeve. Kari didn't care, did she? That's why she left. _Why did she leave. . .?_

T.K. sighed once again and pushed back from his desk. His eye caught a picture sitting on a top shelf, forgotten. He stood and plucked it down. It was a photograph of all of them. All of the Digidestined after their last battle with MaloMyotismon. T.K. smiled. Everything seemed much simpler then. All they relied on was themselves and their Digimon. T.K.'s smile faltered as his eye hit Kari. She had her hand unconsciously intertwined with his, as it usually was. She was beaming at him, smiling as he beamed back. She was radiant that day, but then again, they all were. He ran a thumb gently over her picture, and his heart ached. _Kari. . ._

"T.K.,?" T.K. heard his mother's voice call, interrupting his thoughts.

"Yeah mom?" He called, his voice in an odd high pitch. His mom opened his door, and stuck her head through.

"I'm going to the store, do you need anything?" She asked. He shook his head.

"No thanks," He said, and halfheartedly smiled at her. His mom noticed this and shifted her weight to her other foot while holding the door.

"Is something wrong?" She asked. He looked up into her eyes. All he saw was his mother's love. She really wanted to know what was wrong, and if she could, fix it.

"I'm fine mom. Really," He said. She hesitated, then smiled and nodded.

"I'll be back soon!" She said, and left. T.K. just turned back to his computer. His mom was a good person. He didn't need to bother her with all of his problems. They used to talk all the time, but this time, she wouldn't understand. . . Nobody understood him. The only person who did. . .

T.K. turned and looked at his computer in frustration. Nothing was happening. Agitated, T.K. stood up. He left the room, but not before tripping on something. He turned around to pick up and throw the accursed object which had made him trip. He saw it, and picked it up, ready to throw. But then he realized what it was. It was Kari's old camera. He slowly lowered his hand and studied the camera. He remembered the day she gave it to him. She was smiling so big. Her brother Tai had given her a new camera for her birthday, but she didn't want to throw the other one away. She had presented it to a surprised T.K.

"Take it as a memory of our friendship forever and always," She had said to him. He smiled sadly again, lost in the memory. It took him a few moments to snap back to reality. He walked over and placed the camera on his desk. He stared at it for the longest time then. Once again, tears came to his eyes as he thought about Kari. _You left me. You left me here all alone._

All of his dark emotions were suddenly upon him once again. He shook his head, trying to clear it. It didn't work. He clenched his hands into fists. His breathing went heavier. He felt fear, agitation, depression, frustration, but most of all anger, searing hot anger. It wasn't _fair_. Why did this happen to him? Something needed to happen. All of it needed to end. . .

T.K. got up and walked over to his desk. He wasn't thinking. He was past thinking. Everything was now just black and white. Soon it would be red. . . He picked up a piece of paper and a pencil. His hand shaking, he was barely able to write his message.

"Mom, I'm sorry. . I can't do it anymore. Tell Matt and Dad I'm sorry, and that I love them. I hope you can forgive me one day. I love you..." T.K. folded the piece of paper and put it next to him on the bed. Hands still shaking, he opened a drawer and pulled out a boxcutter. He didn't remember why he had it, but that didn't matter. Carefully, he opened the cutter and removed the blade. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He had no other choice. Shaking, he put the blade against his wrist. One slash . . . that's all it would take. Then he wouldn't have to care anymore. He wouldn't have to hurt anymore. . . He allowed himself a moment for regrets. Did he have any? Of course. He regretted this whole thing. He regretted her leaving. He regretted not telling her how he felt about her. . .

T.K. took another breath. The blade felt cold and heartless against his skin. He closed his eyes, and willed his hand to move. It didn't. He tried again. He couldn't do it. He couldn't kill himself. T.K. began to sob quietly to himself. He tossed the blade beside him, and slid down off the bed and onto the floor. He didn't even hear the person come in the house. He didn't hear their footsteps approaching his room. He didn't hear their soft knock as the door slid open.

"Hey," He heard. T.K.'s head shot up and his eyes met another pair he hadn't seen in months. They were still soft, still kind.

"Kari? What are you doing here?" He asked, standing up. She smiled and walked over to hug him. He returned it stiffly. This did not go unnoticed. She pulled back and looked at him.

"I was worried about you," She said, her smile gone. In its place was a look of concern. "Matt called my brother. Tai told me. He says you haven't been well lately."

"Oh?" T.K. asked, starting to get angry his brother would meddle like that. "What did he tell you?"

"He said you haven't been eating well. He said you've been avoiding everyone and everything social. You quit the basketball team. You've stopped writing. You don't even visit Patamon anymore. T.K. we're all worried about you." T.K. snorted.

"Oh? You're worried?" He asked sarcastically. "It's hard to tell what you're feeling." Kari winced at that.

"Listen, you said you had no problem with my decision to leave. I told you I needed time to think, clear my head, and focus on life. But you had said-."

"I lied!" T.K. yelled unexpectedly, and uncharacteristically. "You think I wanted you to go? I didn't! It tore me up inside! I tried to be understanding. But you left. . . you didn't care anymore." He said, calming back down. Kari was starting to cry now.

"You think I don't care? I'm doing this to protect you . . ." She said quietly.

"Protect me? Kari, you were my best friend! What did you need to protect me from?"

"ME. . .!" She said. "I had to protect you from who I was becoming. . . You are too good of a person for me. I couldn't do that to you," She finished, starting to sob. All of T.K.'s anger melted away when he saw that. He walked over and hugged her. She sobbed into his shirt. He put his hand on the back of her head, and just held her. This felt so right. This was all natural. She was here, and he was holding her. It felt like everything else was wrong, and this was the only thing that was right in the world. T.K. felt the cold hard shell that had been building and surrounding his heart for months now slowly dissolving away. He could feel again. He could love again. . .

"Kari. . ."

"I'm sorry. . ." She finally admitted. "I was overwhelmed, and I couldn't handle it. There was so many times I wanted to lash out and hurt people. I couldn't do that. I was. . . confused. I had a lot of battles to fight, so I just removed myself. I didn't want you to get hurt. I'm so sorry. . ." She whispered. His eyes closed as he pulled her to him.

"I'm here Kari. You should never be afraid to talk to me. I'm your best friend. If you have a battle, let me fight it with you. . . You don't have to run anymore." T.K. implored her. She nodded.

"I know. I know. I should have come to you. But you are a wonderful person. I would just taint your personality." Kari said. T.K. shook his head.

"Don't I get some say in that?" He said. She nodded. She walked over and sat on the bed. He watched her from across the room. Her hand touched the letter.

"What's this?" She asked.

"Nothing, it's-." He said, walking over and making a grab for it, but she ended up with it. Kari opened and read the letter. Tears came to her eyes. She looked down and saw the blade. She looked back at the note and put two and two together. She picked the blade up, and looked at him questioningly.

"You were going to . . ." She started. He looked at the ground, ashamed. She looked at the letter.

"You didn't say bye to me. . ." She said. Tears went down his cheeks.

"It'd hurt too much to."

"Takeru. . ." She gasped, her hand flying to her mouth. He barely registered her using his full name. He looked down.

"Why?" She asked. It was one word, but it spoke volumes. It told of their whole relationship. It told of how much she cared for him, and was wondering why he would kill himself. He looked up at her.

"Because. . . you left. You were not only my light, but my hope. Kari. . . I love you. And more than just friends. More than best friends. I honest to God love you. And it tore me up to see you leave. I may be young, but together we've been through a lot. I care about you, and think about you everyday. I need you Kari. Without you, I am nothing." he said. Kari looked at him, her face unreadable. He stood across from her. His gaze was down, looking at the floor, afraid to meet her eyes.

"You do? Honestly Takeru?" She asked. He hesitated, and then nodded. He was very scared. He was now vulnerable. He was open for rejection. She slowly stood, and walked over to him. She pulled his chin up slightly so his gaze would meet hers. Then his blue eyes met hers. She found herself, once again, lost in his baby blue eyes. It was her favorite thing about him. She loved how they gleamed when he was smiling at her, or sparkled when he cried to her, and her alone. He was her best friend. No. . . he was more than that.

"I love you too." She whispered. His eyes widened slightly as she leaned up an kissed him. He unconsciously pulled her closer and deeper into the kiss. It was a passionate kiss, their first to be exact. It was like they were making up for lost time with the kiss. It was endless. Well, to them at least. It was actually only a few minutes before the need for air interrupted.

"Please. . . don't go again. . ." T.K. implored. "If we have problems, we'll fix them together. But please don't leave me again." He begged. She shook her head and kissed him again. After a while, she pulled back.

"I never planned to. I missed you too. It nearly killed me. But I thought I was doing it for you. . ." They sat in silence once more.

"So what do we do now?" She asked. He smiled. And for the first time in months, he felt happy. Just joyful love, so tangible, it absorbed through his pores and washed through his veins. He smiled, and his eyes shone.

"I don't know. But we'll do it together." He said. She smiled back at him. And everything mattered, because she mattered. And she was here to stay...

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**Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it. Review and tell me your thoughts!**


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